This one has the most potential to unbalance the game, but also introduces some interesting asymmetry–and anyway, it’s Monopoly, so keep your expectations low. Everyone else adds up money, property values (including mortgaged ones), and turns in houses and hotels for half their value, and the remaining player with the most money wins. So the game ends when the first player goes bust. The eliminated players have nothing to do, and when the game’s down to two players it can last forever. Playing til all players but one go bankrupt is stupid. Before the game starts everyone gets three random Title Deeds for free. This one speeds up the game by starting players off with some properties, which skips over the first few turns of “roll, land, buy something, end of turn” and gets you straight to the much more interesting develop and trade phase of the game. The last three are actual changes to the rules. The first three changes were about actually following the rules (or f**king rules) as written. Like the Free Parking thing, it injects way too much money into the economy of the game. Play by the actual f**king rules for landing on GO. Somewhere along the line someone decided you should get $400 for landing on GO. No more last-minute reprieves for players down to their last dollar (but see more below). This is just a ‘free’ resting place.” BAM. Well guess what? That’s not an actual rule! I quote from the official US Tournament rules: “A player landing on does not receive any money, property, or reward of any kind. The reason most of our childhood games lasted forever is that most people use the “rule” that all money spent for Chance and Community Chest penalties goes on Free Parking, and anyone landing on Free Parking gets the cash. Play by the actual f**king rules for Free Parking. It’s possible to swoop in and buy up great properties at auction if everyone else wastes their money buying garbage. Adding in this key rule– which has been in the game since 1933–adds a whole different dimension into the game. How many of you know that the bank is actually supposed to auction off properties you land on but don’t want to buy? I thought so. Play by the actual f**king auction rules. What six changes make the game palatable for 21st-century tabletoppers? Your gamer friends all groan when you suggest playing it. You’re up at the cottage, it’s raining, there’s a copy of Monopoly there (of course). I myself bought Monopoly: Legend of Zelda edition for my son because…well, I forget why, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Monopoly’s an ideal brand because it’s baked into our collective consciousness and it’s been licensed up the wazoo with over 200 different versions that people buy as novelty gifts or for their kids or grandchildren. Or if you want something more recent, how about Brass? Or Stockpile? And if it’s trading and deal-making you like, have you tried Bohnanza? Chinatown? I’m the Boss? If you want a good economic game that doesn’t take forever, how about Acquire? It’s been in print for more than fifty years and still cleans Monopoly’s clock in terms of gameplay and strategy. I’m not going to go over all the reasons Monopoly is outdated and flawed you can read them here. But if you’re like me I’m sure the question you’re asking yourself is.WHY? WHY WHY WHY? Why do people spend so much time playing such a flawed game when the state of game design has improved sooooo much in the 85+ years since it was first published–or, at least published under the name Monopoly…see here (or don’t, if you want to preserve your state of naive bliss).
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